I’ve been asked my thoughts on this subject (I wonder if some people are trying to tell me something. I hear the church mothers praying.). Here is a short list.
1) PREACHERS ARE PEOPLE TOO. Yes, there is a commitment to the Cross and the commitment to the call is unwavering. But the super- is not the only part of the -human. Yes, give respect to what you plan to do, but relax and have fun! And, don’t take me to church and call it a date. Also, if you are a serial dater and not serious, get off my row. You cannot get to know someone when everyone else is in your face and in your ear and, God forbid, in your bed. Being ‘deep’ is not impressive, we do church all of the time. Lastly, it may not be ideal to invite them to a drink fest or a club, either. There are so many things to enjoy. Just ask.
2) THE PEW IS NOT A POTENTIAL. Members within the church dating the pastor, No. Some may disagree but that doesn’t even seem natural to me. Preachers in the same church dating, that’s another post, because there is so much potential for drama and church fallout. For me, spiritually, members are sons and daughters. IJS.
3) DON’T WASTE THEIR TIME. If you are not #committed to Christ, don’t even…okay. If you are not ready for #commitment, move along. If you are not going to be #consistent, please move along. Those committed to ministry don’t need the stress of uncertainty nor an emotional distraction added to everything and everyone else they already have to handle. Please be #considerate and understand that mature and sincere preachers don’t want to add any drama to their life. A (potential) mate should do just the opposite.
4) PREACHERS / PASTORS DON’T ‘HAVE’ TO DATE OR MARRY ANOTHER PREACHER. If you do that’s great, too! But understand, ministry is a call for some, not all. Others who may be called to serve their Christian life out in the world of business or entertainment or sports or government or etc. are not expected to marry someone in their same field of work – same applies to preachers. A doctor doesn’t have to marry another doctor, or an attorney another attorney. The mark is, are you saved and do you respect what each of you do and support that PERSON in their life’s mission. (I’m not trying to get into the equally yoked, etc. conversation – that’s a given and we get it.)
5) KNOW WHO YOU ARE. It may take a little work to see how a pastor feels about you because they are guarded due to the nature of the work. Trust me, there’s a looooooottttt of crazy going around. As trust is built (by being honest and consistent), you’ll get to know where the heart is. Trust is earned and if you are in it for the right reasons, you’ll put forth a little investment to get a greater reward. So, it’s not you, it’s the caution of the call that makes the preacher respond slower. There’s a lot to consider – you, them, and those being served. Just know they are talking to you because of who you are and that should speak volumes.