Cooling Off or Left in the Cold

His / Her actions are the truth. Believe them.

#LADIES If all spring and all summer he has been hot in pursuit on your trail ๐Ÿ”ฅ and now as the holiday season approaches, he’s “chilling”, “falling back”, “taking time to get himself together”, then let him walk on by with a permanent goodbye. If he doesn’t want to do the holidays with you, then don’t let him ‘holla back’ at you when the season ends.

Now, IT COULD BE that he is ‘going through’, struggling – from recent life changes or unfortunate events – and may feel he can’t get you what you deserve gift wise, so he’s trying to gracefully bow out. That’s his mistake to make …and it may be fatal. Communication and honesty are key factors to building real, meaning relationships. God’s women are full of vision and are more than materialistic divas. She can see the man for who he is and where he’s going in life. The right wife is a man’s bridge to the blessed, prosperous life. And, she’s for the man, her man of God!

You know the difference between the cheap man and the challenged-by-circumstance man. One is #permanent and one is #seasonal.

If you have been consistent, you deserve the same. And do not let him call you AFTER the day ends. Men respect standards and expect them from women who they plan to be with long term.

#MEN If she’s ignored you, been living her free and independent life all year, but now as ‘gift season’ ๐ŸŽ sets in, she’s like, “I’m ready to see you, boo”๐Ÿ’‹๐Ÿ˜‰, beware. She even invites you over for holiday dinners …and there you go. Do not be disappointed after New Year’s new do-over, when she has to ‘find herself’ or ‘clear her head’ and says she needs some time to figure things out.

If you cannot see past her beauty or booty, ask a trusted friend girl about the situation. Women know women and sadly too many good men get #harmed by the #charm, duped, heartbroken, and then the good women get the grief.

Let a spirit-filled, trusted sister help you. If a woman is not giving you undivided attention, she’s not playing games, she’s just not that into you. There is a difference in giving a man ‘the chase’ and just outright playing him for convenience.

Let it go. Let it be her loss. You are not the loser. God will give you who you deserve. And she’ll be what you want AND what you need.

The only thing that should be #CoolingOff around you, with the one who’s been in hot pursuit, is the weather. So, take inventory. If you’re left out in the cold, leave it alone!

Love the ones you’re with. Be loved right. Enjoy the place that God has you in and live your life happily. 1 Cor. 13:5-7, James 1:5

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Ready, Waiting On Right (Perfect Timing in the Waiting)

For all the good Godly brothers and sisters wondering who and when ๐Ÿค”, let your faith lead. I know for a fact that there are great men and great women, waiting. A matched mate is meant for you.

If you try to work it, He can’t. When you release ๐Ÿ™Œ๐Ÿพ your desire, He perfects it.

Do not settle. If it’s not working, let it go before God. If it’s gone, you move on. If it’s God, it will return and be good FOR you and TO you. But don’t stress. God is in control. Worship. I know this sounds simple, but it’s powerful and liberating to simply “let it go”. Oh, the peace that will flood your soul.

Be sure that you (guys and ladies) are received as a blessing. IF YOU ARE, you’ll be treated as a valued gift.

It’s perfectly okay to be ready, just don’t get in a rush. See God more than you seek for another. You are making a lifetime decision.

LADIES, it’s okay to give the man a hint and hope ๐Ÿ˜‰, but never forget that he is the hunter. If you’re chasing, you are the caught cat on a bed of honey, sweet but too easy.

GUYS, get the girl who chooses value over vanity. Her vixen is there but her virtue will keep it under wraps until she can be safe to let you see – you know, on the day you can take your honey to the moon ๐Ÿ’.

Put in the effort and invest the time, and don’t be scatter-brained or you may never choose.

Why do I wait? Because I’m certain God will get it “just right”, with the “right one”, at the “right time”, and I refuse to be stopped on the route there. He’s never late. Perfect timing is in the waiting. ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพโ€โ™€๏ธ ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ

#LoveIsGoodWhenItComesCorrect

#YouAreSomeonesDelightDitchAnyDesperation

#Wait #Worship #DontWander #WorthIt

Let the Graphic Encourage You๐Ÿ’•

Rooted…Looking for Fruit Not Nuts

#Rooted #MinistryMentoring These are the questions every preacher (and church leader) should be able to answer; along with thoughts to consider.

Who is your pastor?

What church are you a member of? (Submitted and committed in service)

How long have you been there? (In other words, how many churches have you skipped and dipped around to.)

In what area do you serve in your church? (Not what title, but where can you be found being faithful …in your church, not in your community. Charity begins at home.)

How do you handle being disappointed or upset with your pastor? Oh, you haven’t been? You sure you’re in leadership?

Getting connected is easy, staying connected takes work, Church. But, it builds character, exposes and purges weakness, gives you wisdom, and sets an example for others to follow. Church commitment adds another block to the foundation built upon The Rock.

Yes, we NEED the experiences that only church membership brings – good and bad, ups and downs – the aggravation, the rebukes, the struggles, the lean times, and the mean times (not abuse, misuse). You work and live with these conditions daily and get surprised because the same people go to church??

To fully develop as a church leader, you can’t work around or abort the process, due to the uncomfortableness and inconvenience of being a church member. Doing pop-up ministry to work “around” the church is not church leadership.

โ€œThe Lord shall bless thee out of Zion: and thou shalt see the good of Jerusalem all the days of thy life. Yea, thou shalt see thy children’s children, and peace upon Israel.โ€ Psalmsโ€ฌ โ€ญ128:5-6โ€ฌ โ€ฌ

It’s true, you don’t need the church to do “big” ministry these days. But, you do need your church roots to do “great” God ministry that leaves a legacy.

Do not substitute sensationalism for kingdom building and emotionalism for the anointing, claiming that churches are too constricting, traditional and dead. That’s a devil’s lie. Every church is not the same and God’s church is and will keep prevailing with excitement, destiny, and supernatural power.

You don’t want to propel to the platform just to perform but can’t answer where you come from. Popularity is not leadership. Make His name great. Be a Kingdom builder not a church-member stealer.

As you lead, don’t you want people to follow you, too? Sow the seed of being a son and daughter of your church home. It won’t be wasted time. Good pastors aren’t trying to hold you back. They are trying to make sure that what’s in you will hold up.

I know street ministry. I know community ministry. And I know church ministry. Not because I heard about it but because I’ve done and do it. And, what I can tell you is that the church is the incubator for all other ministries, from Apostle to Teacher. That’s by God’s design. Eph. 4:15-16

โ€œThose that be planted in the house of the Lord shall flourish in the courts of our God,” Psalmsโ€ฌ โ€ญ92:13โ€ฌ โ€ญKJV. I want to operate in the courts “OF OUR GOD”. โ€ฌโ€ฌ

There is a reason young oxen were yoked with the older. You’re a preacher, exegete, exposition, and lead by example with that truth for your ministry and you’ll do God proud. #AllLove ๐Ÿ’•

#TheChurchToday #YouAreAJointSupplier #iAmForTheChurch #TheUnpopularPreaching #CommittedToTheTruthAnyhow #OilFlowsDown #StayConnected #HeCallsHeChooses #FruitfulNotNuts #iThankGodForHisChurch #ChurchLady

The Perfect Time

#ThePerfectTime

You only come this way once …just once in a lifetime. That’s all you get. Then it’s done.

Far too often people express “When I get this, I will…”, “When this is paid off, I’ll do…”, “When I make it, then we will…”, “After this is over, then I’ll make time to…”I can’t go there until this is…”. They get stuck in life’s muck.

The ideas and pressures that are given to us –that we must meet certain criteria before we LIVE– actually become the procrastinators and hindrances to enjoying life. ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ

We are told bigger is better, faster is greater, more is the goal, excess is blessed. Vanity has its place but it’s nothing when the casket closes.

(God forbid for you, but) People do: Get the money and lose health; Get the degree and lose love; Marry the dream and mess up their mind; Build the dream house and have no peace. Don’t let the stuff be your only marker.

๐Ÿ—ฃYessssssss, please avoid living on impulse only, carelessly. Do work your life plan and get things in order, BUT don’t plan your life away, looking for the ‘perfect’ time to start living.

There is no set of circumstances that amounts to perfection. And maybe, just maybe, what you’re trying to build on your own is waiting on you to just “live” so you can meet the right person at the #RightTime to release the predestined favor that gives you what you’ve been trying to earn.

God can do in one ‘Hello’ what takes you twenty meetings to accomplish. He has the plan to prosper you, give you life more abundantly, give you the desires of your heart, and fill your life with good things! (Jer 29:11; Jn 10:10; Ps 34; Ps 103).

You’re frustrated because you’re trying to work out what grace has already prepared for you. Be in the will of God, while on the go.

Live a life that’s worth remembering, not regretting.

Time is fleeting and fleeing.

God is okay with you giving a Yes to your heart’s yes and No to your heart’s no.

So, “the perfect time” to do the things you desire to do, is simply when you decide to do those things, (Phil 2:13). God put them there!

#InChrist #LiveLoveLaugh and you’ll last longer.

Decision Time ๐Ÿค”

September is here! Used 49 times in scripture, Nine (9) symbolizes divine completeness from the Father and conveys the meaning of finality and represents the fruit of God’s Holy Spirit (Faithfulness, Gentleness, Goodness, Joy, Kindness, Long suffering, Love, Peace and Self-control, Gal. 5:22-23).

So, as you enter into this month, don’t chase anymore illusions, don’t allow anyone to put you on hold, let no one leave you hanging, and begin to accept that He has a complete plan for your life. That plan is His perfect will that will make your life whole and your decision worthwhile.

If “it” is not working, it’s time for ๐Ÿ‘‰๐Ÿฝyou to make a final decision. YOU LET IT GO, you walk away, you slam the door, you deny all access. Take control of the actions that so gravely affect your life. Make you, your own hero or shero.

Trust that our Father will DIVINELY COMPLETE your life! And, in the process, let His fruit feed your faith.

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Growing Up to be Grown Up

Maturity is defined as having reached an advanced stage of mental and emotional development characteristic of an adult. I have learned that #Age is not a mark of maturity. #Assets are not a mark of maturity. Someone can have a job, children, a home, big money and still be immature.

A person can be going on fifty and be silly. We’ve met males who talk ‘man’ but think ‘boy’; who had possessions but were middle-school messy. We have seen our sisters still acting out high school “mean girl” behavior, far too often using Facebook (or other social media) as a bully pulpit, and still lacking the courage in real life to stand up for righteousness.

It’s true. –How many children you have is not a sign of maturity. You can have a quiver full and have no chivalry nor wisdom. –How good you look or how grown you appear is no guarantee of how mature you are -cute but you cutting up; handsome but can’t handle having a conversation. –How much money you have has nothing to do with how mature you are; kids earn millions and so do people who do immoral and stupid things.

If you switch your mind with the wind; can never swallow your pride; always say the first thing on your mind; won’t stop to listen but jump to conclusions; or still following your feelings only …that’s a sign that growth will be a good goal.

Also, discerning and caring, how what you are about to do will impact others “on down the road”, shows your level of maturity and your character.

HERE IT IS: Maturity is not only in #WHAT you do but rather in #HOW you do it.

Being CONSISTENTLY sensible, responsible, levelheaded, reliable, dependable; wise, and perceptive… are marks of maturity. Maturity takes discipline, a Godly connection, and a desire to treat yourself and others right. We have the best teacher and example in Jesus…

Give instruction to a wise man, and he will be still wiser; teach a righteous man, and he will increase in learning. Prov. 9:9

A good name is to be chosen rather than great riches, and favor is better than silver or gold. The rich and the poor meet together; the Lord is the maker of them all. The prudent sees danger and hides himself, but the simple go on and suffer for it. The reward for humility and fear of the Lord is riches and honor and life. Thorns and snares are in the way of the crooked; whoever guards his soul will keep far from them… Prov. 22:1-29

#GrowingUpInGrace #ConsistencyCounts #LordLetMeLearnAndLiveAMatureLife

The Pew Point of View

#ThePewPointOfView After nearly 25 years of teaching and preaching the Word, I’ve “heard” ๐Ÿ˜› that people are ok with audience participation but say, “If I have to” excessively:

“Find three people” (11 times in one sermon) and tell them __________,

Turn to my neighbor (21 times in one sermon) and tell them _________, 

Be “made” to get up on my feet and get out of my seat (2 times in 11 minutes after a 12-hour shift), ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿพ

Be shamed into shouting (cause I’m not showing emotion – You know, holding back the tears from the devastation in my life), 

Move from my “won’t praise ’em” neighbor’s row (cause they’re too tired from work or worry to shout) – so now my row ain’t blessed๐Ÿคฆ๐Ÿฝโ€โ™€๏ธ, 

Wonder if there’s a point or purpose after listening 30-45 minutes ๐Ÿคท๐Ÿพโ€โ™‚๏ธ

Grab somebody, or high five 52 people, or be touched (17 times in 12 minutes, while you stay sanitized ๐Ÿ˜ท and refuse to meet and greet), then…

Then… you probably just preached your first and last sermon to a lot of people. 

Iiiiiiiii TOO engage the audience (cause we all need a lil stirring ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿฝ) and sometimes have to remember not to overdo it. But it should be voluntary, not condemning, and not a workout session. Mindful preaching values people and the fact they chose to take time to listen. 

Too many “fillers”, is an indication that we may be trying to get people to “feel” something instead of being “filled”. Nervousness can be natural, breathe and remember that HE is ready! 

Sermons should be scripture fed and Spirit led. When God breathes on a sermon from the #study of scripture, we don’t have to prop and script the people. The Word will work the atmosphere. 

#SensationalSermonsAreInsufficient #LetsWorkTheWord #Theopneustos, 2Ti3:16

Keep Your Standards UP

(This is love, no judgement, just mentorship.) Ladies, keep your standards UP – for dates, for phone calls, for walks in the park and adventures, doors being opened, gas being pumped, and sweet nothings. It’s a beautiful thing ๐Ÿ’• and shows that you are respected and valued. Until then, be found ready but willing to wait.

Do not be a chaser, Do not answer to cat calls, Do not respond to booty calls (rather texts, they don’t even call), do not ONLY text, do not ONLY messenger – don’t you get tired of that . He’s not giving you attention, he’s dangling you a carrot, maybe even just throwing you a bone. If a man can get by that lazily and cheaply, then he’s not that into you and obviously has other options at hand or isn’t ready, because he’s not investing in you. (Please tell me if I’m wrong, gentlemen.)

And, YES, there are great men out there who are desiring women who walk worthy of their value and are clear about their expectations. Good, God-fearing men are also wanting marriage, family, and fun times. And they are around!

The women I watched did it right. We call it old school but it still is the right school. Let him come to you like Luther sang it, “Excuse me, Miss, what’s your name, can I call you, can I take you out tonight” . Otherwise, stay off my row because #RomanceWins.

Whatever you set as your standard, that’s what you’ll get. And there’s a LOT of good to be gotten by being a great and gracious lady. You are worth it and so is he who recognizes that your value is above rubies.

#ChurchLadyย #Standards #ThankYouMamasย #EchoZoeHaveLifeJohn1010ย 

5 Tips for Dating a Pastor / Preacher

I’ve been asked my thoughts on this subject (I wonder if some people are trying to tell me something. I hear the church mothers praying.). Here is a short list.

1) PREACHERS ARE PEOPLE TOO. Yes, there is a commitment to the Cross and the commitment to the call is unwavering. But the super- is not the only part of the -human. Yes, give respect to what you plan to do, but relax and have fun! And, don’t take me to church and call it a date. Also, if you are a serial dater and not serious, get off my row. You cannot get to know someone when everyone else is in your face and in your ear and, God forbid, in your bed. Being ‘deep’ is not impressive, we do church all of the time. Lastly, it may not be ideal to invite them to a drink fest or a club, either. There are so many things to enjoy. Just ask.

2) THE PEW IS NOT A POTENTIAL. Members within the church dating the pastor, No. Some may disagree but that doesn’t even seem natural to me. Preachers in the same church dating, that’s another post, because there is so much potential for drama and church fallout. For me, spiritually, members are sons and daughters. IJS.

3) DON’T WASTE THEIR TIME. If you are not #committed to Christ, don’t even…okay. If you are not ready for #commitment, move along. If you are not going to be #consistent, please move along. Those committed to ministry don’t need the stress of uncertainty nor an emotional distraction added to everything and everyone else they already have to handle. Please be #considerate and understand that mature and sincere preachers don’t want to add any drama to their life. A (potential) mate should do just the opposite.

4) PREACHERS / PASTORS DON’T ‘HAVE’ TO DATE OR MARRY ANOTHER PREACHER. If you do that’s great, too! But understand, ministry is a call for some, not all. Others who may be called to serve their Christian life out in the world of business or entertainment or sports or government or etc. are not expected to marry someone in their same field of work – same applies to preachers. A doctor doesn’t have to marry another doctor, or an attorney another attorney. The mark is, are you saved and do you respect what each of you do and support that PERSON in their life’s mission. (I’m not trying to get into the equally yoked, etc. conversation – that’s a given and we get it.)

5) KNOW WHO YOU ARE. It may take a little work to see how a pastor feels about you because they are guarded due to the nature of the work. Trust me, there’s a looooooottttt of crazy going around. As trust is built (by being honest and consistent), you’ll get to know where the heart is. Trust is earned and if you are in it for the right reasons, you’ll put forth a little investment to get a greater reward. So, it’s not you, it’s the caution of the call that makes the preacher respond slower. There’s a lot to consider – you, them, and those being served. Just know they are talking to you because of who you are and that should speak volumes.

Okay, that sums it up. Thanks and I truly enjoy answering. http://www.facebook.com/TashaDillon1, http://www.facebook.com/TashaDillonForMS, http://www.facebook.com/LetsTalkLive1

Oh, So Ready! But Don’t Rush It.ย 

It’s important to know how to walk in the “Ready” without being in a “rush”. The rush can make you move too quickly, on impulse. 

Impulse purchases are made “in the moment”, around hype, covered by the catchy packaging designed to catch your attention, with words used excite you. 

BUT, AFTER you’ve made the commitment and take it home, you get a closer look and begin to feel regret, maybe even anxiety, and you see details that you didn’t give attention to or overlooked in the hype. We learn to slow it down and think it through. And, it’s okay to say I’ll think about and get back to you. If you’re given a deadline but you don’t have peace, leave it. Walk away. A deadline with one does not mean a dead end on your desire. You are perhaps being rerouted. And, a mark of maturity is being able to make decisions that are thought out, even if the opportunity presented was not planned. 

In other words: Find me prepared and ever so READY but you will n.o.t. find me DESPERATE. 

In the process of waiting, cut off anything or anyone who wants to hold you up with stalling you, slowing you down, being vague or playing games with you while you’re in pursuit of happiness. 

With people, when you’re after purpose, a person is either in or out with you. “In” is being present and dependable, not perfect. “Out” leaves you with doubts, wandering if and when. “All In” is a win. “Inconsistent” will leave you discontent. 

You have come this far, so be willing to wait until it’s right – whether it’s for a large purchase, a big move, a spouse, a new pursuit, another investment or long-term commitment. 

I believe you want the best? Step back, wait, and rest in knowing that His will being done is the true prize. Habakkuk 2 teaches us that at the moment “it” comes, you don’t have long before it’s a sealed deal! And, Proverbs 10:22 says that it’s the blessing of the Lord that leaves you with NO sorrows, NO regrets. 

#YOUdeserveToBeCompleteSuccessfulHappy

#WaitYourTurnAndSeeHowWellHeDoesIt